As I write this, being Sunday, I have no doubt that we could wipe out the National Debt and bail out every Wall Street firm if we only had a dollar for each time someone recited “in Jesus’ name” today alone. Since Jesus has not yet returned (or surely Pat Robertson would have told us), there is no end of WWJD speculation over this election. In some parts of this country there is an idea that being Christian is the same as being Republican. Blessed are those who smear the character of their opponents: that’s what the Bible ought to say, according to Karl Rove. In the nation’s tightening Bible Belt there are those who think a Christian should never vote for a democrat, as though politics can be read the same way as apocalypse. So it should not be a surprise that the vitriolic rhetoric of Sarah Palin results in the kind of hate speech that makes Obama the same as Osama and rekindles the kind of KKK racism that used to lynch “uppity” black folk. Not long ago a black man could be beaten to death simply for daring to vote, so imagine how grating it must be to the kind of racists who are scared a black man might actually president. Didn’t God curse Ham?

There is no question that prayer is a much better option for this campaign than the hate speech heard at Palin and McCain rallies during the past week. But then, as the country song reminds us, be careful what you pray for. On Sunday at a McCain event in Davenport, Iowa, the crowd was warmed up by a local pastor of the Evangelical Free Church. Here was his prayer, as reported by a blogger at the event:

“There are plenty of people around the world who are praying to their god, be they Hindu, Buddah, or Allah, that (McCain’s) opponent wins. I pray that you step forward and honor your own name.” Ends with “in Jesus’ name.”

This sounds like the kind of challenge Elijah faced with the liberal media-supported prophets of Carmel. So let the stronger “god” light the fire under the behinds of American voters, especially in the swing states (which by definition tend to have more sin than the Bible Belt red zone). So, if McCain wins, then we know that the Red State “God” (only capitals will do these good ol’ boys) is stronger. And if Obama wins, then Satan has done it again. Armegeddon is just around the corner. But don’t worry because you betcha Sarah Palin would be back in Alaska preparing the glaciers for all the true Christians who will flee there as a refuge after all hell breaks loose (assuming the Democrats control both houses).

So it looks like McCain does have a chance; it is only a prayer away.

Luke R. E. Publican