Violence, scandal and sex: the media feed us a daily diet and we lap it up like faithful mutts willing to chase any sensationalized bone thrown our way. So when an Iranian cleric says something ludicrous to our sectarian ears, it is all the more newsworthy because it is so entertaining. But after the recent loss of life in Haiti, Chile and China, is it really a laughing matter when a far-off cleric blames natural disasters on God’s wrath over human behavior? Consider an AP story which broke on April 19 and was submitted, ironically, by a reporter with the first name of Scheherezade (her namesake could spin a tale almost to death). Here is the bait:

Iranian cleric: Promiscuous women cause quakes

By SCHEHEREZADE FARAMARZI (AP) – Apr 19, 2010

BEIRUT — A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear revealing clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes.

Iran is one of the world’s most earthquake-prone countries, and the cleric’s unusual explanation for why the earth shakes follows a prediction by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that a quake is certain to hit Tehran and that many of its 12 million inhabitants should relocate.

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media.

Women in the Islamic Republic are required by law to cover from head to toe, but many, especially the young, ignore some of the more strict codes and wear tight coats and scarves pulled back that show much of the hair.

“What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble?” Sedighi asked during a prayer sermon Friday. “There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam’s moral codes.”

Seismologists have warned for at least two decades that it is likely the sprawling capital will be struck by a catastrophic quake in the near future.

Some experts have even suggested Iran should move its capital to a less seismically active location. Tehran straddles scores of fault lines, including one more than 50 miles (80 kilometers) long, though it has not suffered a major quake since 1830…

Thanks to the Internet, such a story can travel faster than the speed of sound thinking, and hit us in almost any form, from print and online periodicals to cable news and blogs. Google it and you will hardly find any major media outlet which ignored this earth-shaking scoop.

The story is funny to most Western ears because it confirms the stereotype that Iranian clerics are ignorant, medievally-minded dogmatists. If an Iranian leader insists that the holocaust did not happen, then blaming un-chadored women for natural disasters is to be expected. But Hojatoleslam Sedighi’s warning that human sin explains God’s allowing major natural disasters is hardly unique. When hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans, evangelist and former presidential candidate Pat Robertson told millions of his viewers that this was God’s judgment for legalized abortion, not to forget the Sodom and Gomorrah nightlife of the city. The Iranian cleric, like Robertson, is doing nothing different from all those Old Testament prophets (read your Daniel), the Revelation of St. John, the apostolic fathers, churchmen, rabbis and Muslim savants over the course of all three major monotheisms. Lost in the reporting is a really disturbing issue: President Ahmadinejad’s dire prediction that Tehran might be leveled in a major earthquake and perhaps some 5 million of its citizens should be prepared to evacuate.

The recent earthquakes in Haiti, Chile and China have dominated the news thus far this year. Thousands of lives have been lost; many more thousands will carry the physical scars and emotional pain for their entire lives. There is nothing new here. Our planet has never been Disney World. As much as the human species has come to control the elements, there is no stopping the natural rhythm of earthquakes, volcanoes and hurricanes. Theologians, philosophers and ordinary people have been pondering the “why” of such catastrophic events since we first had the ability to ponder. If you think the Iranian cleric is a religious nutcase, then it might do well to remember the Gospel advice: he whose religion is without blaming something or someone for sin, let him cast the first stone.

As Jon Stewart demonstrates nightly on The Daily Show, the news media have devolved into a parody of themselves, so this is a story too juicy to let die in the normal moment-in-the-public-eye cycle. Take Fox News, for example. If you were to surf onto their “Science & Technology” section on April 23, you would find the following follow-up to the clerical hot air:

Facebook Group to Prove Breasts Don’t Cause Earthquakes

A one-woman mission to prove breasts don’t cause earthquakes has swollen into a shirt-straining global movement. Prepare yourself for Monday, the inaugural “Boobquake.”

Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi angered women’s groups around the world on Monday when he claimed that promiscuous women were responsible for literally making the earth move. …

Jennifer McCreight is determined to prove him wrong.

Since launching the “Boobquake” Facebook page she has enlisted more than 20,000 women promising to show as much cleavage as possible on Monday, April 26.

If the world doesn’t then disappear into an apocalyptic fiery chasm, then Sedighi will have no option but to admit he was wrong.

“On Monday, April 26th, I will wear the most cleavage-showing shirt I own,” McCreight wrote. “Yes, the one usually reserved for a night on the town. I encourage other female skeptics to join me and embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts. Or short shorts, if that’s your preferred form of immodesty.”

“With the power of our scandalous bodies combined, we should surely produce an earthquake.,” argued McCreight.

“If not, I’m sure Sedighi can come up with a rational explanation for why the ground didn’t rumble.”

And you can now make that number of Facebook fans 21,000 — and rising fast.

See News.com.au for more, including an exclusive interview with boobquake founder Jennifer McCreight

I am quite sympathetic to dark humor, but the popularity of this particular boobquake deserves a comment beyond the attempt at parody and Fox News editors thinking it is about science and technology. There was really no rational need for such a study to be undertaken, since when Adam and Eve were naked in Eden there is no record in Genesis of any earthquakes, even after that apple incident. Seriously (or what approaches seriousness), I suspect that interest in the Facebook group has less to do about Iran, even the assumed subjugation of Iranian women, than it does about the peculiarly Western commercial fetish with a less destructive kind of cleavage (although, perhaps one that still could be dubbed a weapon of mass distraction). The Facebook Boobquake group image at the top of this post says it all. The media wants males and females alike to think that big boobs are not only attractive, but necessary for success in life. Millions of women, including thousands in Iran, have been so affected by this obsession that they have added implants, many of which are ultimately detrimental to their health. By all means, enjoy the laugh, but know that it is our ogling over the part of female anatomy newborn babies love most that is as ludicrous as an Iranian trying to understand why God would allow natural catastrophes.

[Tabsir Redux is a reposting of earlier posts on the blog, since memories are fickle and some things deserve a second viewing. This post was originally made April 10, 2010]

Daniel Martin Varisco