Category Archives: Israel

Tabsir Redux: The Cynical Dairy Farmer’s Guide to the New Middle East

"Arab Spring", Arab-Israeli Conflict, Bahrain, Egypt, Humor and Satire, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Lebanon, Libya, Palestine, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Tunisia, Turkey, United Arab Emirates, Yemen


BY Karim Sadjapour, Foreign Policy, June 15, 2011

How a couple of cows explain a changing region: equal opportunity offender edition.

In the early years of the Cold War, in an effort to simplify — and parody — various political ideologies and philosophies, irreverent wits, in the spirit of George Orwell, went back to the farm. No one really knows how the two-cow joke known as “Parable of the Isms” came about, but most students of Political Science 101 have likely come across some variation of the following definitions:

Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes one of them and gives it to your neighbor.

Communism: You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.

Nazism: You have two cows. The government shoots you and takes the cows.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Over the years, the parables gradually expanded, using the two-cow joke to explain everything from French unions (You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.) to the Republican Party (You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?). While in its original iteration the cows were a metaphor for currency, capital, and property, they later began to take on different meanings.

Today, the Middle East has replaced the Cold War as America’s primary foreign-policy preoccupation. As opposed to the seemingly ideologically homogenous communist bloc, however, the 22 diverse countries that compose the modern Middle East are still confusing to most Americans. Why can’t the Israeli and Palestinians stop fighting already? What’s the difference between Libya and Lebanon again?

Herewith then is a satirical effort to simplify the essence of Middle Eastern governments so that, in the immortal words of George W. Bush, “the boys in Lubbock” can read it. And, rather than symbolizing property, the cows here symbolize people, which — funny enough — is how most Middle Eastern regimes have traditionally viewed their populations.

Saudi Arabia
You have two cows with endless reserves of milk. Gorge them with grass, prevent them from interacting with bulls, and import South Asians to milk them.

Iran
You have two cows. You interrogate them until they concede they are Zionist agents. You send their milk to southern Lebanon and Gaza, or render it into highly enriched cream. International sanctions prevent your milk from being bought on the open market.

Syria
You have five cows, one of whom is an Alawite. Feed the Alawite cow well; beat the non-Alawite cows. Use the milk to finance your wife’s shopping sprees in London.

Lebanon
You have two cows. Syria claims ownership over them. You take them abroad and start successful cattle farms in Africa, Australia, and Latin America. You send the proceeds back home so your relatives can afford cosmetic surgery and Mercedes-Benzes.

Hezbollah
You have no cows. During breaks from milking on the teat of the Iranian cow you call for Israel’s annihilation. Continue reading Tabsir Redux: The Cynical Dairy Farmer’s Guide to the New Middle East →

Israelis and Palestinians: Live Long and Prosper

Arab-Israeli Conflict, Film and Video, Israel, Palestine


by Leonard Nimoy, Americans for Peace Now, June, 2011

Dear Friend,

When I was a teenager, I told my dad I wanted to be an actor. In response, he gave me the only piece of advice he ever offered me–“Learn to play the accordion.” And he was serious. He said, “You can always make a living with an accordion.”

Because I ignored his advice, I never found out if he was right. Instead, I’ve lived 80 creative years pursuing acting and photography, and working as a director and poet.

If I had listened to my father, and hadn’t done any of those things, chances are you wouldn’t have recognized my name and you wouldn’t be reading this. Now that you are, I’d like to ask you to consider what I have to say. I reach out to you as someone who is troubled to see the conflict between Israelis and Palestinians continue apparently without an end in sight.

In fact, there is an end in sight. It’s known as the two-state solution–a secure, democratic Israel as the Jewish State alongside an independent Palestinian state. Even Israel’s nationalist Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu, has come to see this as the shape of the future. The problem is how to reach that end point. It’s something we should be concerned about–not only as world citizens, but as Americans. Continue reading Israelis and Palestinians: Live Long and Prosper →

The Middle East’s oldest dictatorship

"Arab Spring", Arab-Israeli Conflict, Israel, Palestine


Israel’s resolute occupation of Palestinians in not just historic Palestine, but in the West Bank and Gaza Strip specifically, can be considered the oldest quasi-dictatorship in the Middle East, Bishara argues [GALLO/GETTY]

by Marwan Bishara, Al Jazeera, April 21, 2011

As the conventional wisdom goes – especially in the West – Israel is the “only democracy” in the Middle East. And that is so, particularly for its Jewish citizens. However Israel has been anything but democratic for the indigenous people of the land, the Palestinian Arabs.

By nature and precedence, foreign military occupation is temporary. Colonialism on the other hand, and more precisely civilian colonisation, is a socio-political system of ruling over another people.

Since its inception at the end of the 19th century, Zionism preached self-determination for the Jewish people in “their” homeland. In reality, Israel has directly or indirectly driven Palestinians out of their homeland, confiscated their properties, rejected their right to return to their homeland despite UN resolutions, and occupied and colonised the rest of their homeland for the last four decades.

Throughout, Israeli military and security services ruled over another people against their will. They oppressed, tortured, exploited and robbed the Palestinians of their land, water and most importantly, their freedom. There has been more political prisoners in Israeli jails than any of its neighbours.

In denial over their predicament, Israeli leaders have taken shelter in the illusion of surplus morality. Continue reading The Middle East’s oldest dictatorship →

Review of “The Jew Is Not My Enemy”

Anthropology/Sociology, Arab-Israeli Conflict, Bible and Holy Land, Israel, Judaism


The following is a review of The Jew Is Not My Enemy: Unveiling the Myths that Fuel Anti-Semitism by Tarek Fatah, published by McClelland & Stewart
ISBN: 978-0-7710-4783-1 (0-7710-4783-5). The review is written by Ivan Davidson Kalmar and published in the Literary Review of Canada, March, 2011.

As Tarek Fatah, the author of this provocative book, puts it, “By all rational standard, Muslims and Jews should have been, and could be, partners. Their faiths are very similar (…). There were even times when Muslims and Jews prayed together around the tone covered today by the Dome of the Rock [in Jerusalem].” Certainly in the imagination of western Christians at least, Muslims and Jews were for centuries regarded as two of a kind.

From the medieaval theologians through to Hegel, Islam was considered to be a revival of Judaism (which Christians thought should have died with Christ). Though the attitude to both Jews and Muslims has generally been hostile, it was not always so. For example, Jews and Muslims were both admired by nineteenth century romantics as possessors of an eastern spirituality that inspired and could continue to inspire the Occident.

When Jews and Arabs were both classed as members of the same “Semitic” race, “Semite” was at first often meant as a compliment. It was partly in reaction to romantic accounts of the Semites that the term “anti-Semitism” was invented by a new breed of Jew-haters. And it was, in turn, largely a reaction to modern anti-Semitism that the old idea of “returning” the Jews to the Orient took hold in the form of modern Zionism. Zionism led to a long and still ongoing, bloody conflict between Jews and Muslims over the holy land of Israel/Palestine. Continue reading Review of “The Jew Is Not My Enemy” →

Winners and Losers in a Post-Mubarak Arab World

"Arab Spring", Arab-Israeli Conflict, Egypt, Israel, Journalism and Media, Palestine

By Yousef Munayyer, Palestine Center, The Jerusalem Fund, February 14, 2011

Thirty years ago the Soviet Union was at the beginning of a long campaign in Afghanistan, the average person was lucky to have an advanced recording technology called a “VHS tape,” and Mohammad Hosni Mubarak took control of Egypt, the most populous nation in the Arab Middle East. This week, the last of these beginnings came to an end when millions of Egyptian protestors succeeded in toppling one of the longest standing rulers in the 5,000-year history of Egypt.

But as with all eras, Hosni Mubarak’s established norms, some national and others regional, which have now irreversibly changed. What type of government may take form in Egypt in the coming weeks and months is yet to be seen, however, it is highly unlikely that any new government can afford to repeat the mistakes of the previous regime which eliminated pluralistic political participation in the formulation of both domestic and foreign policy.

Many different global players had an investment in the outcome of the drama that finally concluded in Egypt with Mubarak’s departure. So after this transformational moment, who are the winners and who are the losers?

The Winners

1. The People of Egypt – After only 18 days, the people of Egypt succeeded in removing a ruler who had governed Egypt for three decades. But the victory for the people of Egypt is far greater than the removal of one person like Mubarak or his family. Continue reading Winners and Losers in a Post-Mubarak Arab World →

On Gadflies and Burlesque Phonies

Arab-Israeli Conflict, Gender and Sexuality, Israel, Libya, Luke R. E. Publican


Some say a picture is worth a thousand words. Surely the above photograph above of two aging heads of state on opposite sides of the Mediterranean is worth a thousand or even more or less. If you did not know the headline, what do you think these two men would be talking about? If you guessed immigration, you would be almost right. If you guessed romance and cross-cultural marriages, you would be exactly right, if The Guardian is to be believed. The Libyan government is using the services of an Italian match-making site called hostessweb to bring Italian women to Libya. The site is even available in 53 different languages, including Arabic, Swahili and Persian. All you need is an Internet connection and a credit card and some mutual language besides the universal code of love.

It seems that both Colonel Gaddafi and Silvio Berlusconi are friends. One might speculate on what they have in common. Being unpopular perhaps for their dictatorial ways? A soft spot for the gentler gender? Or maybe just a penchant to do favors for nephews. It seems that Colonel Gaddafi is worried about his nephew’s matrimonial future. As The Guardian reports: Continue reading On Gadflies and Burlesque Phonies →

Leaves from an old Bible Atlas #7

Archaeology and Antiquities, Architecture, Bible and Holy Land, Israel, Palestine, Photography, Travel


Hurlbutt’s Atlas, p. 137


Hurlbutt’s Atlas, p. 133

The Christian fascination with the Holy Land as a window into interpretation of the Bible has a long and indeed fascinating history of its own. Here I continue the thread on Jesse Lyman Hurlbutt’s A Bible Atlas (New York: Rand McNally & Company, 1947, first published in 1882). As might be expected, a large part of the atlas is devoted to Jerusalem. Here are two century old pictures, one of the Dome of the Rock and the other a view of the Garden of Gethsemane looking toward an uncluttered landscape beneath the old city walls of Jerusalem.

The Surprising Effect of Religious Devotion on Suicide Attacks

Arab-Israeli Conflict, Ethics, Islamic Rituals, Israel, Palestine, Terrorism Issue


2007 suicide blast at Baghdad hotel

by Matt J. Rossano, The Huffington Post, September 27, 2010

We all have our personal “theories” about what motivates religious terrorists. To go from personal theories to real ones, we need to study the issue scientifically. One recent study draws the provocative conclusion that ritual participation more than religious belief may be behind suicide attacks.

From a scientific standpoint a suicide attack represents an extreme form of parochial altruism — a self-sacrificial act made on behalf of one’s in-group, involving aggression against an out-group. Religious belief, some have argued, is the prime motivator for such an attack. The attacker believes that his or her sacrifice will lead to a glorious reward in the afterlife (e.g., Islam’s famous 70-some-odd virgins-awaiting). This explanation can be called the “belief hypothesis,” and it would predict that those who demonstrate increased devotion to religious beliefs or deities would be more supportive of suicide attacks. In the context of a recent study (Ginges et al., Psychological Science, 20, p. 224), devotion was measured by prayer frequency. Thus, those who prayed more were assumed to be more devoted, and some preliminary analyses confirmed that this was indeed the case. Continue reading The Surprising Effect of Religious Devotion on Suicide Attacks →