Category Archives: Humor and Satire

Make love and make war?

"Arab Spring", Arabic Cartoons, Gender and Sexuality, Journalism and Media, Syria, Terrorism Issue, Tunisia


A number of Tunisian girls who had travelled to Syria for “sexual jihad” have returned home pregnant, the government says

Newspapers love a juicy story line. What could be more apt for tabloid sensationalism than one that combines multiple sex partners and jihad fighters? The Telegraph (no one seems to have informed the management that telegraphs are a bit on the ancient side these days) has come up with the following headline ‘Sex Jihad raging in Syria, claims minister” for its September 20th edition. Here are the lead paragraphs…

Tunisian women have travelled to Syria to wage “sex jihad” by comforting Islamist fighters battling the regime there, Interior Minister Lotfi ben Jeddou has told MPs.

“They have sexual relations with 20, 30, 100” militants, the minister told members of the National Constituent Assembly on Thursday.

“After the sexual liaisons they have there in the name of ‘jihad al-nikah’ – (sexual holy war, in Arabic) – they come home pregnant,” Ben Jeddou told the MPs.

He did not elaborate on how many Tunisian women had returned to the country pregnant with the children of jihadist fighters.

Jihad al-nikah, permitting extramarital sexual relations with multiple partners, is considered by some hardline Sunni Muslim Salafists as a legitimate form of holy war.

The minister also did not say how many Tunisian women were thought to have gone to Syria for such a purpose, although media reports have said hundreds have done so.

Here is a new twist that might actually revolutionize the way jihad is being waged by the most militant crazies. Continue reading Make love and make war? →

Pork Barrel Islamophobia

Bible and Holy Land, Humor and Satire, Islamophobia, Islamophobia 101, Terrorism Issue

The biblical prophet Isaiah talked about turning swords into plowshares. Leave it to a bunch of Idahoites to turn bullets into bullshit. In the online world of chickenhawkers of nonsense, you are now able to buy pork-laced ammunition. The theory (I hesitate to use this term for such a potato-head notion) is that if a Muslim jihadi is shot with one of these bullets he will, of course, go straight to hell. Here is the rationale on the “about us” of their website:

History of dealings with radical Islam from the days of Jefferson and the Barbary Pirates to actions of Gen. John J. “Black Jack” Pershing in the early 1900’s in the Philippines gave clarity to a modern day market solution-Jihawg Ammo. Our preference is peace first but if a fight is to be had we are determined and resolved to win. Thus came the beginning of the truest form of defensive ammunition ever created in history.

A natural deterrent that prevents violence just by owning it but will strike fear into the hearts of those bent upon hate, violence and murder. Jihawg Ammo is certified “Haraam” or unclean. According to the belief system of the radical Islamist becoming “unclean” during Jihad will prevent their attaining entrance into heaven. Jihawg Ammo is a natural deterrent to radical and suicidal acts of violence.

Our Porcine Coating (Pattern Pending) is infused with the highest quality pork product made right here in America. Jihawg Ammo is produced in the great state of Idaho.

We at Jihawg Ammo hope you will stock up on Jihawg as a natural deterrent to the ever growing threat of radical Islam and Sharia Law. We, however, stress that the nullifying principle of our product is only effective if you are attacked by an Islamist in Jihad. Otherwise, our ammo functions just like any other ammunition so we obviously insist upon defensive use of our ammo only-not offensive.

I suppose it is a comfort that this ammo is only for defense, but then it is sad indeed that those folk who think Obama is a Muslim and the U.S. Supreme Court is about to institute shariah law are also convinced that the Moslems will soon be staging operations in their own backyard (now that the commies decided not to come and rape our women, after all). Perhaps in addition to gun control, we also need dumb-ass control.

The right barnamaj for Egypt

"Arab Spring", Arab-Israeli Conflict, Egypt, Humor and Satire, Terrorism Issue, YouTube Watch

“If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don’t have a regime.” Such was the sentiment of satirist Jon Stewart, who made a surprise appearance on the popular Egyptian television comedy show, al-Barnamaj, starring Bassem Youssef. If the Arab Spring protests were not simply an exercise resulting in one kind of intolerance replacing another, then this may be one of the most important lessons to be learned from the prevailing winds of post-people-revolution hopes. Obviously Moubarek did not handle jokes well, nor did Ben Ali, nor Qaddafi, nor Ali Abdullah Salih. Neither does Bashar al-Asad, who is desperately trying not to be the next ex-dictator in the Middle East. But then the ruling parties in the Islamic Republic are not exactly comedy-friendly. Bin Laden was the butt of millions of jokes, but it is hard to imagine him having success as a stand-up comedian.

The irony is that most of the people I have met in Egypt and Yemen are fond of jokes and have a rich tradition making fun of those in power, corrupt regimes and religious hypocrisy. Many have a sharp edge of “othering” one group or another, but some are self-deprecating. Satire has a way of getting to the crux of problems, which is probably why it is so irritating to those in power. Consider the following joke about the Syrian regime of Hafez al-Asad, a joke I heard from a Lebanese friend when Syria was basically in control of much of Lebanon.

The heads of the CIA, the KGB and the Syrian intelligence agency met at a conference and were bragging about their abilities to track down and find terrorists. Continue reading The right barnamaj for Egypt →

Bedtime for Bibi

Ethics, Humor and Satire, Israel

Austerity and sequestration are the dismal economic buzzwords of the day. While thousands of airline passengers in the United States waited for late flights due to a lack of air traffic controllers, and while tens of thousands of Israelis protested the latest cutbacks, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel had his own solution. He flew to the funeral of Margaret Thatcher last month in a specially fitted plane. There are obvious perks to being a leader, especially a sleepy one. So why not rent a retrofitted El Al superliner to take 75 guests to London for a mere $427,000 from the national treasury. It was not the latest in security secrets that upped the price, but rather a newly installed rest cabin in which a $127,000 bed was installed for his wife and himself for a five hour trip. I am not sure if Bibi has ever watched the Lialda ad that warns a man to consult his physician if he experiences an erection lasting over four hours. No doubt some Israelis feel as though Israel has suffered enough from electoral dysfunction throughout his tenure.

CIA, C.O.D., LOL

Afghanistan, Ethics, Humor and Satire, Luke R. E. Publican, Obama Administration


Afghan President Karzai explaining how large a bag he wants his CIA cash delivered in

Following the “revelation” that the CIA has been dropping off bags of cash to Afghan’s President Karzai, perhaps its acronym should also stand for Covert Insurance Allowance. What better way to spread democracy and freedom-loving among the Afghan people than to buy allegiance with greenbacks. After all, if Karzai is not supplied with freshly minted American dollars, how can he get the warlords to side with him. Let’s face it, the Taliban have stockpiled the opium, so Karzai needs some source of income for his fragile economy. As bribed supporters of American liberation, we can be assured that these warlords would never use any of that under-the-table funding to buy opium from the Taliban.

Many Americans are shocked that the CIA would provide clandestine aid to a foreign president who is pulled out on the kilim in public to be chided over Afghan’s notorious corruption. But rest assured that President Karzai gives America receipts for every dollar. These receipts are actually recycled and used as toilet paper back in CIA headquarters, resulting in a significant savings for the agency. The CIA can now cover its own shit without having to buy truckloads of Scots Tissues, much to the consternation of the Koch Brothers. Now that the shit has hit the fan, so to speak, more money will need to be provided to Karzai so that more receipts can make their way back to headquarters. There is plenty of cash available, despite sequestration, since so many of the other dictators that were getting genuine made-in-America bribes on the sly are gone. Continue reading CIA, C.O.D., LOL →

Too handsome for Saudi Women

CyberOrient, Gender and Sexuality, Humor and Satire, Photography, Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates


Omar Borkan Al Gala

The news from the Middle East and broader Islamic World is as dismal today as it was yesterday. Syria continues to be a spiraling bloodbath, as does Iraq as we near the 10th anniversary on May 1 of the notorious Bush the Younger declaration of “Mission Accomplished.” Several hundred garment workers may have lost their lives in the collapse of an 8-story sweat shop in Bangladesh and the list goes on. There are times when those of us on the comfortable outside looking in need to take a breath and find something to laugh about in the onslaught of absurdity. The fact that yesterday I heard a lecture on Waiting for Godot is not entirely irrelevant for posting this blog.

For the Saudi purity police it seems that it is possible for a visitor to be so media-savvy handsome that local women need to be protected by deporting him. The case in reporting-stupidity point is about a certain Omar Borkan Al Gala, a fashion photographer, actor and poet from Dubai. England’s authoritatively silly tabloid The Sun carries the following subline: “THE internet is awash with speculation that one of the men deported from Saudi Arabia for being “too handsome” is a fashion photographer from Dubai.” For a pretend news source that Murdoch-murders the truth every chance it can get, there seems to be a voyeuristic fascination with Arab men’s bodies, including Saddam in his undies.

So is this guy really so handsome that he is a whipped-up man of mass distraction to the Saudi regime? Continue reading Too handsome for Saudi Women →