Category Archives: Humor and Satire

Obama, Running for Antichrist?

Apocalypse Watch, Islamophobia, Luke R. E. Publican

Political candidates attract mud and the current presidential marathon on the Democratic side is no exception. Several conservative hit men have emphasized Obama’s Muslim middle name, Hussein, and used their rather pathetic poetic license to rhyme (without reason) Obama and Osama. Already relegated to the status of an urban legend, the smear tactic that Senator Obama is a mixed Muslim/Atheist still resonates in parts of rural America, no doubt among those white out-of-work blue collar men who think Hillary used to be a short-order cook.

But the image of a stealth Muhammadan running for President is outdone on the lunatic apocalyptic fringe of the Christian far-right by Dana Smith’s recent speculation about Barack Obama as the Antichrist. Here is the lead-in on the Raiders News Network:

People are swooning, falling headlong on the floor, while he speaks. Does Hillary get this reaction? An emphatic no is the answer! It seems today that from every corridor the people are talking about this. Is Obama the man? Is he the Anti Christ? Is he this or that? The truth is society is ready for the man of sin mentioned in 2 Thessalonians chapter 2. But is Obama the man? The real verdict on that will be out until the end of his term. One thing for sure, his reign, if he is elected will be during a tremendously prophetic time on the calendar. All things are set for the uprising of the ‘man of perdition’. Continue reading Obama, Running for Antichrist? →

An American in Baghdad

Gender and Sexuality, Humor and Satire, Literature

Editor’s Note: The Baghdad I am referring to is that of the Arabian Nights fantasy and the American is the extraordinary man of letters, Edgar Allen Poe. Among his humorous short stories is a tale called “The Thousand-and-Second Tale of Scheherezade,” archived online at http://www.online-literature.com/poe/45/. Here is a taste of the tale, but I suggest you read the whole story online.


Truth is stranger than fiction. Old saying.

HAVING had occasion, lately, in the course of some Oriental investigations, to consult the Tellmenow Isitsoornot, a work which (like the Zohar of Simeon Jochaides) is scarcely known at all, even in Europe; and which has never been quoted, to my knowledge, by any American — if we except, perhaps, the author of the “Curiosities of American Literature”; — having had occasion, I say, to turn over some pages of the first — mentioned very remarkable work, I was not a little astonished to discover that the literary world has hitherto been strangely in error respecting the fate of the vizier’s daughter, Scheherazade, as that fate is depicted in the “Arabian Nights”; and that the denouement there given, if not altogether inaccurate, as far as it goes, is at least to blame in not having gone very much farther.

For full information on this interesting topic, I must refer the inquisitive reader to the “Isitsoornot” itself, but in the meantime, I shall be pardoned for giving a summary of what I there discovered. Continue reading An American in Baghdad →

Primary Hellfire and Born Again Brimstone

Iraq War, Islamophobia, Journalism and Media, Luke R. E. Publican, Osama Bin Laden

In yesterday’s Super Tuesday slapdown, John McCain appears to have bailed out in his Republican quest with a majority of the party’s caucus-oid delegates. But not without friendly, which is actually unfriendly, fire from his right. At the last minute the conservative evangelical bornagainagogue James Dobson delivered his protestant version of papal bull: “I am convinced Sen. McCain is not a conservative, and in fact, has gone out of his way to stick his thumb in the eyes of those who are … I cannot, and will not, vote for Sen. John McCain, as a matter of conscience.” It is though Dobson in his daily bible reading, found a new translation of Matthew 16:15: “And I tell you, John McCain, on this rock I will not tell my church to vote and the gates of hell will prevail is he is elected.” Or to tell the Gospel truth, Mr. Dobson cannot see the mote in his candidate’s eye for the large walk-the-plank in his own.

Adding to the smoking cigar of Rush puffed endlessly in Big Mac’ weathered face, Super Tuesday turned into the GOP version of American Gladiators. Move over, Chuck and Arnie, here comes Hulk Hogan onstage to officiate, only without the scantily clad and pumped-up Amazon models. Here is last night’s apocalypse now. The great Latter Day Conservative from Utahssachusetts lies bloodied and hanging on to the Washington-is-broken ropes, waiting for a Good Samaritan to come along and say Mormonism is not a cult. Meanwhile, down in the holler hides the Huckabilly, who is able to have his Southern cruisin’ grits and eat them too; but likely this will be his Last Supper of the primaries and not for want of Ron Paul’s fundraising ability. On the other side, Hillary and Obama both took the Jesus-like approach of saying you should love your enemy. This time around, in not-so-swift Kerry-like fashion, the Republicans seem hellbent on electoral suicide that will holocaust the party a victory in November. Think of it this way, which pile of shit would you rather avoid: that of a donkey or an elephant?

Politics astride, you would have to be severely politically anemic not to see the irony of the moral majoritarian Dobson damning Big Mac to an undisclosed level of hell and at the same time playing up the spectre of Radical Islam’s Threat to the Western World. Continue reading Primary Hellfire and Born Again Brimstone →

To Hell with McCain?

Immigration Issues, Luke R. E. Publican, Osama Bin Laden, Terrorism Issue

As Election Super Bowl Tuesday looms, slogans are flooding the airwaves and talking heads jerking off over digital networks. With the side attraction candidates now on the newsunworthy sidelines, it is mano a mano time: Bill-supported Hillary vs. JFK-scent Obama and Admiral Big Mac vs. the Olympics-sized CEO Romney. Tomorrow will show the world just how American democracy works, the electoral college-bound Rube Goldberg contraption that allows pockets of regionally-minded voters, jerry-rigged delegate rules and a last-minute, last-ditch advertizing blitz to masquerade as political choice. Now that the warm-up Iowa Caucus and town meetings of New Hampshire have been proudly displayed as proof we are a nation of concerned voters, the two parties can break out the cigars and place the oil-profit crown on the great hope that promises to deliver the spoils to the White House in November. Politics is the media orgy of our time; we all get drunk with promises and laid on with promises. Not until after we pull the lever will we know that we can’t help puking and ending up with a hangover that lasts about four years. Most of us, so the polls tell us, are still reeling from the last time around.

There are plenty of issues to campaign about. The economy is in the recession-bound Red Zone and most economists think the stimulus packages being thrown up hail-Mary into the air will be dropped in the end. After all we have troops locked into a war that even a troop surge cannot rescue from political stalemate. Take your pick of the non-Pauline candidates, the score will be the same: less money in your wallet and more national debt for being the world’s superpower policeman. Would that we had a silly and totally irrelevant reason to pick candidates, like their stand on gay marriage. That worked like a piece of cake last time. But then that election had two white guys mud wrestling, one a war vet from the wrong color state and the other a family (Bush family that is) man who thought Jesus was the greatest philosopher of all time. Now in the semi-finals we have the kind of diversity that makes you dress for your grandmother’s funeral. The Democrats have a woman (so the opposition can’t be too sexist) and an African American (so the race card has to be hidden under the table); the Republicans have a Mormon (who is a latter day conservative saint) and a suspect conservative maverick (who is as old as Methuselah). Continue reading To Hell with McCain? →

Huckabilly Lays an Egg, Flunks Geography

Iraq War, Jordan, Luke R. E. Publican, YouTube Watch

In last night’s GOP presidential debate, hosted by MSNBC, the Huckabilly former governor of Arkansas laid an egg and he can hardly blame Chuck Norris in absentia for such a wisecrack. Asked if the war in Iraq has been worth all the blood shed, Huckabilly defended Bush’s rationale by comparing the lack of evidence in the massive search for Iraqi WMDs to an Easter Egg hunt. A colorful comment for the Late Show, but one that ultimately leaves egg on his face. Asked later about his all-encompassing religious conservatism, the Huckabilly said he even respects Americans who do not have faith (as long as they vote for him, perhaps), although he conveniently avoided looking for Mormon support. It appears that part of his weight loss may have been in his cranium. Continue reading Huckabilly Lays an Egg, Flunks Geography →

Twain on the New Year

Humor and Satire, Literature

The more things change, the more they remain the same. Mark Twain did not say that, but consider his greeting from the 19th to the 20th century, published in the New York Herald on December 30, 1900:

I bring you the stately nation named Christendom, returning, bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored, from pirate raids in Kiao-Chou, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Philippines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of hypocrisies. Give her soap and towel, but hide the looking glass.

Who Owns the Holy Land?

Arab-Israeli Conflict, Bible and Holy Land, Humor and Satire, Literature, Palestine

As another year draws to a close, it is hard not to think in larger terms of the course of the last century. The world has seen two world wars and far too many atrocities since 1908 to think of our technological and commercially driven age as golden. But in it all there has been humor. Believe it or not, the American writer Mark Twain was still alive one hundred years ago. His greatest books belong to the century before, from the mother of all Holy Land travelogues, Innocents Abroad, to Huckleberry Finn and his adventurous friend Tom Sawyer. Surely one of the greatest humorists ever, Mark Twain did more than tell funny stories. His work survives in part because it uses humor to remind us of the unfairness and unwavering mundaneness of life.

In Tom Sawyer Abroad Twain offers a vivid critique of the kind of Orientalism that Edward Said rightly views as a style for dominating the Orient. Continue reading Who Owns the Holy Land? →