Category Archives: Humor and Satire

The Last American #1

Books You Should Read, Humor and Satire, Lithographs, Orientalism, Travel

There was a time when “Oriental Tales” were the rage of the age. Montesquieu penned Lettres Persanes in 1721 and Oliver Goldsmith followed up several decades later with The Citizen of the World. But I recently came across a late 19th century text about a future visit of a Persian Prince and Admiral to the ruins of a land known as Mehrica. This is The Last American and purports to be the journal of Khan-Li, a rather bizarre name for a Persian but so thoroughly Orientalist in mode. The admiral visits America in 1990 ( a century after the book was written), when American is in ruins, following the massacre of the Protestants in 1907 and the overthrow of the Murfey dynasty in 1930. But let the introduction to the text set up the marvels…

Continue reading The Last American #1 →

Confessions of a Would be Muslim Reformer (sort of)

Arab-Israeli Conflict, Gender and Sexuality, Humor and Satire, Islam and Christianity, Islam in America, Islamophobia, Wahhabi


by Omid Safi, Religious News Service, April 1, 2012

I have been doing a lot of soul-searching, and I have reached a few important conclusions. Speaking as a moderate Muslim, I realize that my community is primitive, backwards, mired in tradition, and in need of massive help from KONY 2012 people to reform this tradition to catch up with the luminosity of secular West.

I know that there is a trouble with Islam today, and everyday. I also want to have gay-friendly mosques where people can just go have a beer after the optional prayer services, ‘cause that is what it means to be a progressive Muslim.

Because all the secret jihadists (and the FBI people who have infiltrated them) just want to impose this Shari’a thing on us, and for some reason all that beer drinking and hooking up seems to be frowned upon in that Shari’a thing.

With that, and in the name of She who is the source of All-Mercy, here are the fruits of my search. If anyone wants to put me in touch with Fox News or MEMRI, please do so, I’ll recite all these on camera—just contact my agent, and he can tell you my appearance fee. I know that we are in need of a Muslim Reformation, and I am working on my “Martin Luther of Islam” speech. I can’t quite make it up to ML’s 95 theses, but I have got a good head start below. With that, “I give you permission to think freely”:

First, speaking as a Muslim, I am so disappointed in my Muslim brother Barack Hussein Obama. He eats pork, drinks alcohol, regularly attends church service, had his daughters baptized, has yet to set foot in a mosque since becoming president, kisses AIPAC’s behind, authorizes indefinite detentions, and has seen many Muslims killed by his drone attacks and ongoing wars. Really, a pathetic Muslim if ever there was one. I mean, if I wanted a Muslim ruler that would do all the above, I would move back to the Muslim countries where most of the rulers do that kind of stuff anyway, and the food is a little better than here. Continue reading Confessions of a Would be Muslim Reformer (sort of) →

AIPAC, buy me!

Arab-Israeli Conflict, Humor and Satire, Israel, Journalism and Media, Judaism

The leading right-wingers in America view Israel as a kind of political football made out of seven million residents, a football that can be kicked at the wall over and over.

By Boaz Gaon, Haaretz, March 7, 2011

I, Boaz Gaon, being of sound mind and body, hereby offer myself for sale to AIPAC. Should the committee decline, I offer the opportunity to Sheldon Adelson. In any event, I offer my internal organs for free, as a confidence-building gesture, to leading right-wingers in America – to all those who view Israel as a kind of political football made out of seven million residents, a football that can be kicked at the wall over and over. After all, we Israelis don’t feel any pain, and we know that our destiny is to be tossed around like a ball in some exclusive gym by Republican lobbyists, before they head off to the sauna and then cocktails.

I’m offering myself for sale even though I was warned by my lawyer that this is an irreversible step, and that in all likelihood I’ll find myself at Israel Hayom newspaper’s next conference, and/or at the next reunion of White House veterans who worked for George W. Bush – persons who are partners of the Israeli right (Daniel Pipes, Elliot Abrams ) – naked and trussed up, with an apple stuffed in my mouth and served on a silver platter that has a likeness of Irving Moskowitz inscribed on it.

I’m doing this because I can read the writing on the wall. Continue reading AIPAC, buy me! →

A Madventure in Yemen

Animals, Film and Video, Food and Drink, Humor and Satire, Orientalism, Terrorism Issue, Travel, YouTube Watch


Take two rather weird Finns, a camera and a mountain of jocularity. The result is one of the stranger travelogues you will ever encounter: Madventures YEMEN. This film was made shortly after the attack on the U.S. Embassy in 2008. The two travelers are hardly experts on Yemen and much of what they say (about tribes and geography, for example) should be taken with a grain (at times a pillar worthy of Lot’s wife) of salt. But I love this film, once you get by the Ali-G-ness of the two f-ing (a word they use to the hilt) Finns. First, the cinematography is fantastic and you hear from a number of Yemenis, who often make far more sense than their guests. Second, it does not treat qat as a drug and the Yemenis come across as anything but the “terrorists” portrayed in the media. Indeed, at one point, the traveler Rika notes that despite the number of weapons in Yemen it probably has less crime than the country you are watching the film from.

Check it out and enjoy…

There are three parts to the film available on Youtube: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

Discounting on Apocalypse

Apocalypse Watch, Ethics, Islam and Christianity, Luke R. E. Publican


There is the real world which we see nightly on the news, even if filtered through journalistic hubris in which people are killed, maimed, maligned and the gamut of human interaction. Then there are the “prophets” who keep cropping (usually crapping) up with visions of impending doom. The recent prayer event that Rick Perry attended was organized by some of the most bizarre religionists in our country. As noted on yesterday’s Fresh Aire, some individuals are crusading a brand of “spiritual warfare” that comes close to the real thing. These include what most normal people, including the vast majority of Evangelical Christians, would call nut cases: charismatic preachers who claim visions from God, but somehow need more money to get the vision across.

I visited one of these “prophet” sites of a fellow named Sid Roth. He looks like the kind of guy who you would meet at a Jewish Community Center and his site is all about Jews, that is all about how to convert Jews to his version of Christianity. You have to wonder about a flashy website that has a banner declaring “It’s supernatural!” as a registered trademark. There is also that “Messianic Vision”, which is blind to what most Christians believe and certainly to just about everything rational in the world today. One thing that is all over the site is the “Donate Now” prompt. However, I do find it ironic that one of the DVDs for sale at a discount is entitled “Will America Survive 2011?” Is it being discounted so more people will buy and view it (which I somehow doubt as a financial move) or because thus far it is surviving and probably will, so why not try to unload the DVDs now. Indeed there are people stupid enough in our land that will buy this DVD after 2011, just as those who predict the end of the world (or think it already ended) always keep a few followers.

A short surf of some of the sites on the network of media prophets came up not only with Sid (I do wish he were a professional comedian with that first name) but with a Faisal Malick, a Muslim who converted to Christianity and now tries to convert Muslims with slick media programs. Continue reading Discounting on Apocalypse →

Be careful what you pray for

Anthropology/Sociology, Bible and Holy Land, Humor and Satire, Islam and Christianity


Today’s New York Times contains a commentary by Timothy Egan on “Rick Perry’s Unanswered Prayers.” Perry, who today is declaring his bid for the Republican presidential nomination, has been governor of Texas since his predecessor George W. Bush left that office to become president. Despite the fact that both Bush and Perry wear religion on their sleeve, the front of their chest, indeed on just about every bit of clothing (I am not sure about tattoos), both seem to have a poor record of getting their God to do their bidding. Unless this God west of the Pecos has a wicked sense of humor, I think the debacle of the Iraq War is an answer only to the prayers of arms dealers and Blackwater International. But Perry has no problem putting the ball (like the economy or the drought in Texas) in Jehovah’s court. Last April he declared a three-day prayer for rain. Not a drop has fallen since. Now he thinks the time is ripe for another Texas governor to run for president. Let us all hope he does not have a prayer.

I mention this goobernatorial prayer fiasco as a contrast to an istisqā’ (Islamic prayer for rain) that I witnessed in the highlands of Yemen in the spring of 1979. At that time, when I was conducting ethnographic fieldwork in a highland valley full of tribesmen and women (with nary a terrorist in sight, as is the case today), the usual spring rains were late in coming. There is within Islam a specific prayer that the community can offer up to Allah in times of drought. I have no way of knowing whether Allah has a better track record of sending rain than Jehovah does in Texas, but here is my own experience. Continue reading Be careful what you pray for →