Thu 18 Dec 2014
Comments Off on Terrorist Plumbers and Texas
So here is the story. A plumber in Texas (some of the least rosy redneck territory out there where they gulp down tequila or whiskey with their tea partying) sells his old Ford truck and forgets to remove his logo. The auction house sends it along the chain of used cars and trucks, not knowing where it might end up. This is the automotive counterpart of banking derivatives and we know how great that was. Then one day there is a tweet from the Ansar al-Jil terrorist faction in Syria showing a new use for the old leaky-faucet-repair truck: a large gun mounted and firing (probably at nothing in particular and not hitting anything, but it makes a great propaganda shot). And there is the Texan Mark-1 plumbing logo for all to see in the twittering world and beyond. Forget the Alamo, this is really bad news.
This being Texas, the phones start ringing back at the plumbing office and this is a leak that is about as bad as any sewer overflow you can imagine in this redneck part of the woods… Damn terrorists no doubt causing true-blooded Americans’ pipes to get clogged. Terrorists in your bathroom no less… There are plenty of nuts out there, even in Texas, who think that a plumbing firm in Texas is advertising on Syrian terrorist trucks just like Emirates Airways is emblazoned across Manchester City footballers. OMG, this plumbing outfit has even fooled Angies List! Talk about infiltration: you can actually Skype this plumbing group.
So if you want a moral to this sad story, here is one you are free to accept or simply flush it out of your memory: If you live in Texas and ever want to get rid of a used Ford truck and you don’t want to have a bunch of conspiracy nuts flooding your phone lines (especially if you are in the business of stopping floods), get a can of paint and wipe your logo off the truck or your ass is grass. You can leave the “America, love it or leave it if you are not from Texas” bumper sticker. But you never know where that durn old Ford will end up and you know a Ford will run forever. For the sake of Henry “Model T” Ford and the 1950s Edsel, next time drive it until it drops. Just think of how Sesame Street Bert felt when he was pictured next to Osama Bin Laden.