For those fortunate enough to own a MAC computer there is the digital blessing of ITunes. One of the stations listed under “Eclectic” is “The 1920’s Radio Network” which features jazz and vaudeville songs from the 20s through the 40s. Every once in awhile along comes one of those “Oriental” tunes, usually riding stereotypes into the desert on a sand-blasted camel of Araby. One I recently heard manages to offend both Egyptians and obese women (not to mention any serious poet). This is Egyptian Ella, not to be confused with Ella Fitzgerald, who did not debut until four years after this tune was written by Walter Doyle and popularized by Ted Weems and his orchestra.

Egyptian Ella

by Walter Doyle

Ella was a dancing girl who started getting fat
Every day saw three more pounds on Ella
Until one day she found she’d lost her job because of that
And to make it worse, she’d lost her fella
She took a trip to Egypt to forget
And she made such a hit that she’s there yet …

So if you hear of a gal who can quake and shake
‘Till it makes you think of a nervous snake
They’re speakin’ … of Egyptian Ella
She weighs two-twenty but that’s O.K.
They like ’em plenty down there that way
She has the love … of every fella
And when she shakes and when she starts
Down by the River Nile
The boys all take their old sweet-hearts
And throw them to the crocodiles
And every sheik in the audience
Jumps up and yells that “she’s immense!”
They’re cheering for Egyptian Ella.

All the other dancers from the desert to the Nile
One by one admit that they are jealous
For although they dance each night and wear the sweetest smile
Ella’s is the tent that draws the fellas
For Ella has a dance that they can’t steal
‘Cause nothing else could do it but an eel
So if you hear of a gal who can quake and shake
‘Till it makes you think of a nervous snake
They’re speakin’ … of Egyptian Ella
She weighs two-twenty but that’s O.K.
They like ’em plenty down there that way
She has the love … of every fella
And when she shakes and when she starts
Down by the River Nile
The boys all take their old sweet-hearts
And throw them to the crocodiles
And every sheik in the audience
Jumps up and yells that “she’s immense!”
They’re cheering … for Egyptian Ella.

But even the censors had some sense at the time. Consider the following:

Note: As tame as these lyrics sound today, they were too suggestive for the Hays Office, so when Sonny Tufts wanted to perform the song in the film “Bring On The Girls” (Paramount,
1945), he was forced to re-write them. His censored version is not without charms of its own:

Ella was a dancing girl who started getting fat
Every day brought three more pounds to Ella
‘Til one day she lost her job, just because of that
Then to make things worse she lost her fella
So she sailed to Egypt to forget
But they liked her so much that she’s there yet …

If you hear of a gal who can wiggle and shake
‘Til it makes you think of a nervous snake
Well … that’s Egyptian Ella
She weighs two-twenty but they don’t care
They like ’em plenty that way out there
She’s got the eye … of all the camel-encouragers!
Why, she does a dance with certain parts
Down by the River Nile
Which makes all the boys take their old sweethearts
And throw them to the crocodiles
And every sheik in the audience
Rises and offers his love and tents
But they can’t get to first base with that girl – no, sir!

A sheik tried to kidnap her once I am told
But she shook so much that he lost his hold …

The boys stand around, but she clearly states
That she doesn’t care a fig about dates …

So the sheik he wrote a royal note
Signed with his royal fist
Which said because of the dance she did
She was on his royal waiting list
So that’s how fame with a song and a whirl
Came at last to a Brooklyn girl
To our … Egyptian Ella

Well, maybe the butt of the joke is Brooklyn after all.