I just wanted to share this intriguing video by a Slavic Muslim conceptual artist. To the tune of “If I Were a Rich Man” from Fiddler on the Roof, it asks what life might be “If I Weren’t a Muslim.” If humor is anger set on its ear, then this is clearly a non-violent expression of a very deep anger.

If I wasn’t Muslim
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I wasn’t born Mohammedan
Life for me would have been fun.

I could live and prosper
On my land and I could even build a bigger house
I wouldn’t have to, every now and then,
Run and hide like a mouse.

If I wasn’t Muslim
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
My neighbors wouldn’t set my home on fire
And surround me with barbed wire

I wouldn’t live in terror
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
Books wouldn’t teach you that I was an error
In European history.

Ref:

I would not have to prove that I am not stupid
A backward and primitive villain
An alien threat to your way of life
to be hunted down.

I wouldn’t be so ashamed of
The names of my relatives and mine
Of the Semitic language I speak to my God
That no one here understands

My tradition wouldn’t insult
My Christian neighbors and friends
My diet, my cap, the Ramadan fast
the crescent and the star.

Bayram, I know, will never be famous
like Christmas or Easter Sunday
so modern and cool, so western,
and – oh so “secular”.

If I wasn’t Muslim
If I had an ordinary Slavic Christian name
If I wasn’t circumcised
If I could eat my eggs with ham

I would be accepted
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
I’d blend in to Europe and enjoy
I wouldn’t be its whipping boy.

– oh boy –

If I were a Christian
I wouldn’t have to prove that I am human too.
‘Cause when you’re Christian you’re always civilized
no matter what you wear or do.

But when you are a Muslim
It is really hard to find some sympathy for you
No one really likes you, no one really cares
No one wants to know your point of view.

If I wasn’t Muslim
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I was a part of Christendom
Europe would be my sweet home.

I wouldn’t have to worry
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
What will happen in a year or two
Will I have to leave or stay and die
Drop my pants to be identified and put aside
Just ‘cause I’m a Mussulman?